WORKPLACE GAMES
Whether you’re volunteering
to keep yourself fully engaged in life while making positive contributions to
society, or you’ve chosen to, or have to, rejoin the workforce - whatever
you do, don’t panic about your new adventure.
Learn how to cope and how to play the workplace games.
People use intimidation and upset to interrupt or impede
your ability to be comfortable; fully participate in the workplace, and to be
at your mental optimum. In Part II of my book, Aging Gracefully, I deal with "Empowerment and Intimidation
Management,” giving a number of important strategies and techniques to deal
with shenanigans – whether they be on purpose or not.
Stay on the alert to recognize
these types of game players:
·
The "Word Supplier"
·
The “Word Corrector"
·
The “Finisher of Sentences”
·
The “Look That Is Meant To Embarrass You”
·
The “Disrupter”
The “Word Supplier or “Word Corrector” is always waiting-in-the-wings
to catch you pausing for a word, or perhaps mispronouncing a word, or using an
incorrect word so they can jump right in to ‘help’ you. The last thing you want
is that their ‘helpfulness’ implies something is wrong with your abilities. To nip-it-in-the-bud, your response to the
know-it-all: Whatever, accompanied by a smile or accompanied by a gesture of
dismissal.
The “Finisher of Sentences” is also waiting around like an
understudy ready to push the leading lady or man off stage at any moment. To stop-them-in-their-tracks, your response
to their rude behavior: Kindly refrain from finishing my sentences. I
prefer to do that. And if the person
who finished your sentence and was completely wrong in their assumption about
what you were going to say then quickly turn the tables with: That’s not what I was going to say. You’re
completely off topic.
And as for the incredibly impolite person who just has to
flash ‘The Look That Is Meant To Embarrass You’ with their raised eyebrows, their
holier-than-thou look, which seems to say, "Where in the world are you
going with this?" or "What in heaven are you trying to say?" Your
response: Stop right there. Of course laughing at them may do it, too.
“The Disrupter” is like a cheetah ready to pounce in a nanosecond,
challenging something you are saying, disrupting your flow, steering you off
topic, and manhandling the direction and conversation in a completely different
direction. Your response, Go on…., (this indicates that you’re on
to them and that you are giving them permission to continue), and then hold on
tight to your thoughts and the points you want to make. (When a friend of mine does this, she holds
her fingers out on one hand to help her remember every point she wants to make
and with the other hand, she keeps track of counter points to The Distrupter’s
conversation.) Another alternative is to
hold up the palm of your hand or index finger to signal "Wait your turn,”
or, “Hold on,” “In a moment," etc. Whatever
you do, when you take over the floor in conversation, take your sweet time to
get out everything you need to say.
Rude people are everywhere so it’s up to you to figure out
your own style of verbal and non-verbal self defense. Some people will get the hint to back off
from trying to take you on. Others are
just ignorant fools and should be recognized as nothing more than specimens of
character study or as fodder to be capitalized on at a later date, (such as
being used for material in a book, play or blog)….
with:
Eric Berne’s classic book, Games People Play
Suzette Haden Elgin,
Ph.D.’s, You Can’t Say That to Me: Stopping the Pain of Verbal Abuse….
Mauricio Goldstein, Games At Work
Additional reading;
Work Resources:
Volunteer Resources:
